On a Quest to change the world, so I looked in the mirror
18 Aug 2021
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I am a woman on a self-love journey.
What the heck does that even mean and why does it matter? It means that I’ve spent my whole life looking externally outside of myself to try to make a difference. How can I help you feel better, how can I help others in the world be happy? Let me make you smile. Let me make you happy. Let me make you comfortable.
I will always be a person who loves to lift other people, to cheerlead other people, and the difference is that now I’m remembering that I am people too. 
In my thoughts and actions, it became apparent that anyone and everyone I met was more way knowledgeable than I was, seemed to have it together more than I did. I was flawed. They were amazing. I can’t get anything right and they couldn't do anything wrong. I had so many stories in my head from God knows where that I didn’t even know who I was. I judged all of my successes based on other people's metrics.
For many reasons in my life in 2015, I created a whole movement to choose love in the world. I was so desperate to let people know how much they mattered. I wanted them to know how much they were loved and that the world was going to be ok and that we are in it together. I wanted them to know they were worthy of love and they should just be the best version of them they could be. I gave them so much grace to be themselves.
Along this journey, it became abundantly clear that the person I was trying so hard to reach was me.
I am constantly reflecting on the self-talk and the thoughts that pop up and through this process of gaining awareness I have gained so much more confidence, understanding of self, and in that, I am learning to love myself.
It matters because I've learned that I'm actually pretty amazing and you need to believe that you are too. Love for all starts with us. This is how we can create a bigger change.
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