No, thank you. I can't step on that scale.
28 Jan 2022 1 comment
I wanted to shine a light on a conversation I had recently with a customer service person the other day who told me that 90% of her calls are people yelling at her for something that is out of her control. 90 PERCENT. In all my preaching of self-love, there is an area that I struggle with and have my whole entire life and that is my weight and food disorders. When I was young I thought I needed to look like the magazine covers and thank God we've come a long way where body-shaming is not ok AND I've learned that curves are ok, maybe more than ok;). Once I finally got past body image then I started to have some health issues and the reversals of said issues were often diet-related. So basically it equated to blame and shame of being overweight because then I wouldn't have certain issues. Don't even mention Covid and obesity as a co-morbidity. That's a whole new up-level. I have so much deprogramming to do around food and all issues related to it. I fight every day to get past my own demons around eating and what that looks like. If you were in my head when it comes to food you would run for a safe place to hide. Why I divulge this is because I wanted to share that I know my emotional triggers around this subject and I had to go to my doctor's office. I knew they would ask me to step on the scale and I know the cycle of blame, shame that it does to me if it doesn't read like I think what it should. Just as expected when they called me in to step on the scale I felt that hot feeling, that triggered the feeling, and all the things that go around stepping on a scale for ME and I looked at her very politely and I said: "No thank you.". She looked incredulous and said oh well I need it for your records and I just repeated I said I'm sorry I know you are just doing your job and no thank you." and she replied uhhh...ok. (Self-love for me and loving others by not reacting negatively to her for "putting me in this situation") My doctor called me in, she was looking at my chart and she had heard me in the hallway and she said "I'm really glad you didn't step on that scale It's been running about 5 pounds heavier. Let's work on getting you to feel better." I let my guard down, now I'm hearing what she is saying. I share all this to remind you and me that we can anticipate some of our behavior when we go out in the world. I logically understand that there are MANY variables for the scale to be heavier and water weight and blah blah. I know sometimes I can't reason with my own programming so I make a decision on what I can and can't handle at the moment. (Self-Love) It was not the Nurses fault that I have such a mindset around the scale. She doesn't know me and doesn't deserve what I could have unleashed on her because of my own triggers. Reminder: Take care of yourselves and your mental health and be gentle with those that you are interacting with. Try to pre-think about your triggers and how you can handle them better. I could have been in the 90% of people that yelled at this Nurse for something that had absolutely nothing to do with her. We have to work harder to be kinder to ourselves and others and a huge part of that is knowing ourselves.